Unschooling and Idealism
I’ve recently been accused of being an idealist in a recent
discusson about unschooling my daughters. No one ever seemed to
doubt my ability to homeschool – I guess because I was doing ‘school
at home’ but now my critics say that I’m being too idealistic and my
children will suffer because of it.
Are unschoolers really more idealistic than others when it comes to
creating a different/better way in dealing with our children and
their learning/growing?
I never thought that being idealistic was a bad thing, but I’m
having some doubts. It (radical unschool) is much harder than
reward/punishment system I used to use. Unschooling is much more
enjoyable than ‘school at home’.
Do you ever doubt yourself? How do you deal with critics who claim
you are too much of an idealist and you are damaging your children
because they won’t be able to live in the real world?
***
Idealism is a positive thing, is it not? I think so.
What I personally do is limit what I share with others. I guess I
pick and choose what I say, and to whom I say it, very carefully. I
think we get excited and want to share it (unschooling and the
freedom found there) with everyone, because how could they not want
to be free? In our enthusiasm and zest for a peaceful life we tend
to forget that most of the people in our everyday lives don’t think
outside the box.
In order to keep focused and centered I keep my ideas to myself and
share little bits here and there. It seems to be more effective
that way anyhow. Most people don’t seem to be too open to
alternative ways of thinking especially when it comes to education.
Don’t get me wrong. I do have discussions here and there about
simple living, mindful parenting and unschooling. I just watch my
words very carefully and make sure I am up to the challenge before I
say “too much”.
If I find myself getting frustrated or discouraged or I am
questioning myself in any way related to unschooling and the
decisions I have made for myself and my family I come here. I read
the blogs of like minded people. I signed up for Scott Noelle’s
Daily Groove email list. I read it daily. I submerge myself in
reassuring information. I stay centered. I look at my children and
see the self-confident, independent, beautifully free young people
that they are.
Look, listen, observe, interact, live, know, be…
***
Unfortunately, Cara, I don’t have much advise for you but I do have the same
problem. As a matter of fact, that could be my “theme” this year! I almost
expect to have a new TV show on this season called “Leslie, Your Kids Will
Never Be Able to Live in the Real World!” <g>
I did almost look for a hidden camera when I was accused of overprotecting
my kids by using unscented laundry detergent. (I’m not kidding!)
I do know just as many people who are settled and successful and able to
deal with the real world that were “pampered” kids as I do people that had a
harsher childhood. How many people do you know that had all the right stuff
but just never got the right breaks? Or people that had everything and then
lost it? There are some people that are happy with very little and some that
are never happy no matter what. Some people survive disasters perfectly fine,
some cannot get over the trauma. Some people get all the breaks and never
really have to work hard at anything.
You cannot predict the future or success or even happiness. Maybe a good
portion of successful and/or happy adulthood is luck and timing. I do I feel
it
is important to give my kids as much opportunity for self-esteem and
self-knowledge as possible, and the best way I know to accomplish this is
unschooling.
I also find the “real world” plays a big part of our daily lives, good and
bad, regardless of how idealistic I am. :)
***
It makes me CRAZY when people talk about putting their kids in situations to get
them used to the “real world”. There is no 1 “real world”, people who live in
different situations, based on socioeconomic level as an example, would hardly
ever cross paths. An adult’s “real world” is based on their job, their
interests, their kids, etc. and if they choose they could stay in that little
bubble. To me unschooling enables children to build up an intact self-esteem,
and try out interests feeling safe in the knowledge that they can back out at
any time. As they grow more confident and CHOOSE to try out other outside
activities they grow and expand interests and their “real world”.
***
I think it’s the parents who send their kids to school who are the
idealists. Just think: sending your babies off to a building where they
will be taught by strangers. They’ll be taught everything they’ll ever
need to know—-all in that building. And some other strangers in
government get to decide what those things are—without ever meeting
the children! And they all get to do the same things! At the same time!
By following this tradition, all graduates should be rich, handsome,
and famous! In the “real” world.
That’s true idealism! And damaging.
I prefer to think of myself as a realist. Exposing children to as many
different things, people, situations, locations, and ideas ensures that
they will KEEP living in the real world.
No, I don’t doubt myself. It just makes too much sense!
***
I think it’s the parents who send their kids to school who are the
idealists. Just think: sending your babies off to a building where
they
will be taught by strangers. They’ll be taught everything they’ll
ever
need to know—-all in that building. And some other strangers in
government get to decide what those things are—without ever meeting
the children! And they all get to do the same things! At the same
time!
By following this tradition, all graduates should be rich, handsome,
and famous! In the “real” world.
That’s true idealism! And damaging.
I prefer to think of myself as a realist. Exposing children to as
many
different things, people, situations, locations, and ideas ensures
that
they will KEEP living in the real world.
No, I don’t doubt myself. It just makes too much sense!
***
