Why is unschooling better?
I am new to all of this and I am wondering why unschooling is better? I think that is what freezes me in my steps is that you can teach and not be teaching from a book. My son is in 6th grade and if things continue how they are, he is going to fail. I am pulling him out as soon as possible as he has fallen through the cracks since he is so quiet and wont ask for help. If you unschool dont they still need to take the FCAT? How do you get around that?
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Better than what? School? Because they’re free to learn what they want when they want. They can delve into passions and be excited about learning.
There are a million reasons unschooling is better than school. Can you think of ONE reason school is better?
You can *learn* and *not be learning* from a book. And from anything else as well if you are/aren’t interested in it.
He probably doesn’t ask for help because he’d be ridiculed or shamed. Plus—-seeking “help” in school can sometimes be construed as cheating. In the real world, it’s what we do when we….um….need help.
Some unschoolers choose to take the SAT & ACT. They study for it: there are books and websites. They certainly don’t need 12 years of school to learn to take a test!
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I am so intrigued by this idea. My kids are so bright and awesome. I’ve just pulled them out of ps to blossom into what they were intended to be. They are 14 & 13 year old young men. The question that is on my mind is: Why can’t I just order the Preparation to CAT software and book? I could have them do one page a day and be ready for that “test”. Right now they’re so busy doing homeschool work they don’t have time to “fun” read, or play a boardgame.
I work full time and they do their lessons during the day. We communicate by webcam and Nextel while I’m away. When I get home, we run to the “Y”, or the library, or the movies, or basketball practice, or church, or…. you get the picture. Then I’m up at 9 PM helping them finish the alloted pages we’ve been told to complete per day (prepackaged curriculum).
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This is an Unschooling list. It is about getting to Unschooling with joy and not separating or compartmentalizing life into “learning/work” versus “fun”. The suggestions you are likely receive are going to focus on that, *not* on how to make the choice of using a prepackaged curriculum work more easily.
My question for you is this: did your sons choose to use this curriculum, or is it something you imposed? This is a valid question because you use the words “have them do” in reference to the exam preparation.
It sounds like you have assigned the curriculum because you want to keep them busy during the day. Most of us find that our kids are perfectly capable of finding enough in their own interests to keep them occupied.
This sounds like a passive way of abrogating responsibility for your choices by putting it off onto the curriculum, as if it were a sentient entity. Guess what? You do not *have to* complete any work in the order or time schedule that the curriculum vendors have designed. Your sons can be in charge of their own learning schedules.
A curriculum can be treated like a vague overview of the ideas that will be presented to school students of the same age, a smorgasbord from which Unschoolers may pick and choose at will based on their interests, and use as a jumping off point for more investigations.
Please go to www.sandradodd.com/unschooling and read all you can. The parts about deschooling and the Certificate of Empowerment are two sections you may find particularly relevant.
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I was on a couple different lists for people homeschooling their pre-schoolers. I ran screaming away when a discussion came up about how to get the kids to do the work–which I was thinking was fun activites! Most of the people used rewards and punishment CONSTANTLY in order to get the kids to do what they wanted. They had to keep coming up with new ways to “motivate” the kids. It seemed like such a huge waste to go from being an AP parent and respecting a child’s needs and wants to manipulating them hourly to stay on task. Beside which, it didn’t seem to work too well.
There are so many resources available on the internet that you can let your children follow their interests and they will learn amazing amounts without a curriculm that boxes them into learning certain facts in a certain way.
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It’s not just better, it’s the ONLY way to truly honor your child’s interests and intelligence.
Let’s just put it in personal terms. What if your dh assigned you “lessons” to complete each day? What if he either rewarded you or punished you according to how well you did on those lessons? What if those lessons were really boring to you, but that butterfly on the flower outside was very interesting, or that book you really wanted to read, or that game you couldn’t wait to play? Can you even imagine how damaging his behavior would be to your relationship?
Can you imagine the resentment you’d feel? And how you’d hate beingm told what to do all the time when you really wanted to do other
things?
That’s how most children live every day. It sucks.mUnschooling is valuing the child enough to TRUST that they are intelligent and capable.
That trust says you don’t need to coerce them, you don’t needmto “teach” anything, you simply need to provide a rich, interesting environment and they will flourish.
People always ask about “gaps” in learning. Don’t we all have them? Do you know any two adults that have the same knowledge, even in the
same workplace? If certain knowledge is “basic” (or needed information to survive in a certain society), then isn’t it pretty BASIC to learn it? YES. Children naturally pick up what they are surrounded by. My children know a lot of things I don’t know, so they really, truly learn from their interests, whether you are aware of it or not!!:)
Anytime you think you want to try something on your children, or treat them a certain way, just pretend another adult is doing it to you and suddenly it changes the way you parent and approach education. It changes your entire life. Unschooling is HEALING…it has the power to heal your old wounds about learning and school. It has the power to focus your family on relationships, rather than what you should try and cram into an unwilling childs head. It has the power to change not only your life, but those around you, as youll pursue your passions with joy.
Unschooling IS joy! Unschooling is freedom, it is trusting, it is learning together and it is the ONLY life for me.:)
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Thank you SOOO much for this beautifully articulated answer!!! BTW, I’ve been here a bit, just reading and trying to formulate answers to my own problem, but this email nicely points me the way.
My problem is my wonderful dh who’s so institutionalized in school that he’s having a hard time with unschooling. Our son and I have gradually
been moving towards unschooling, but dh is simultaneously resistant and supportive. I think the problem he has with it is that our son is a lot like him in that they both love to play video games, design cool things on the computer, and they both love movies and music. So, when John (ds) chooses to play games, or watch Monty Python, or listen to The Corsairs, or practice his drums for hours on end, dh doesn’t think John’s learning anything. He asks ds what he’s done for “school” and I see it in ds’s eyes the clamming up. I also see in dh’s eyes the bewilderment wrestling with frustration. I simply didn’t know how to approach this growing path of unschooling we’re now on without getting defensive when dh makes comments like, “But he *needs* to know X,Y, or Z” or “We’re the parents; we’re supposed to *tell* him X, Y, or Z.”
